Mommy blogs

I follow quite a few Mommy lifestyle/Mommy fashion/Mommy funny blogs and Instagram feeds. And although I read their posts religiously, I do get a bit envious and slightly frustrated from time to time. I mean don't get me wrong, we are the best of friends; even though they have no idea who I am, and my obsession with their daily life, such as what they had for lunch, borders on stalking. But I'm not unlike any of their other followers. Right? But as much as I love to indulge in their blogs, I dislike their seemingly perfect life. For starters, there is the obvious hatable traits. They are skinny, beautiful, and spend their entire days roaming the streets of New York with their Gerber babies, SLR cameras, and Bugaboo stroller. But besides all of that, lets get into the real reason why these women actually drive me crazy. 

Self pics of their "seven-day" hair

They post regularly on the state of their unwashed hair. You might be thinking, "Ew", but yes, its a thing. Apparently there is some kind of secret Mommy competition to see who can go the most days without washing their hair and still look like a super model on her day off. The Mommy Bloggers take pictures of their unwashed hair, which over the course of several days transforms into wavy tousled locks that are full of body and look like they just came back from a trip to the beach. Somehow I am unable to replicate this look. And trust me, I have tried. A lot. On the first day, my hair looks decent. Maybe even presentable for an outing, like Target. By day two, my hair has a bit of a wave to it, but only because my hair was folded over while I slept and the wave is only on one side of my head.  Things start to deteriorate quickly after that. My three-day hair smells like I am homeless and looks like its been styled by a blind orangutan. By day four the orangutan is drunk and is now using a fork instead of a comb to handle my increasingly greasy hair. And day five hair? Well there is no day five hair, because the orangutan has passed out, the homeless person finally found a shower, and the bottle of dry shampoo is on strike because its working overtime for no additional pay. How the Mommy Bloggers make it to day seven and beyond without feeling like they have a case of head lice is beyond me. Clearly there is some kind of hair doping that the Mommy Bloggers are using to win this so-called Unwashed Hair Competition. Where is Lance when you need him?